I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
