dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
