Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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