doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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