Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
