You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
