haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
