I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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