its not stalking. its research.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
