The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
