you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
