and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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