So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
