You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am puke
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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