I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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