His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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