I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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