I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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