it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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