Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
