If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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