My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
