They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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