absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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