How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
