I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
