Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
