Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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