It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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