You're my little dorito
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this beer tastes like vomit already
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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