i just wanna soil my oats bro
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
as a side note pls kill me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
