i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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