i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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