I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
