I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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