He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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