I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
