Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
