ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
