found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
