She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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