what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
