My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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