I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
