Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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