It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
