Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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