the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
