The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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