If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize