East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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