At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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