im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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