Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
