We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
not ubering you a puppy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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