Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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