his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
