Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
