Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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