I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
