why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
