We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Randomize
