whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i will never coherently bang her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
