Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
