I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
